How to Talk to Older Adults About When It’s Time to Stop Driving

Once you’ve determined a senior driver in your life is no longer safe to drive, take these steps for the big talk.

Choose Someone to Start the Conversation

Choose someone to lead the conversation who has the older adult’s best interests and safety at heart, knows their physical capabilities, and has seen them drive regularly. For 50 percent of older, married adults, that person is their spouse. For 14 percent, it’s an adult child, and for 27 percent, it’s a physician. Unmarried adults prefer to have this talk with their doctors (41 percent) and their adult children (31 percent), according to a study from The Hartford (which underwrites AARP car insurance) and MIT.¹

Plan Ahead

It’s best to have a one-on-one conversation rather than confront the older adult with their entire family. Choose a time of day when the person will be the most relaxed and have the conversation in stages over a period of time. For example, you can start the conversation long before any issues (like hitting a curb) come up by asking a question like, “How will you know when it’s time to stop driving?”

Ask Questions and Give Your Reasons

Ask the older adult questions such as the following:

• Are you concerned about driving?
• Do your medications cause any side effects?
• Has your driving changed at all recently?
• How is your vision?
• When was the last time you visited the eye doctor?

Once they respond, you can show them how an ailment like vision impairment can worsen their driving abilities.

Be Encouraging and Supportive

Your goal is to ensure the older adult’s safety without taking away their sense of independence. To prevent them from feeling attacked, don’t make demands or tell them they are a dangerous driver. Rather, focus on their medical conditions or your own experiences with their driving skills instead of their age.

Unsure whether or not the older adult in your life should keep driving? Look for these red flags.

• Difficulty changing and staying in lanes
• Hitting curbs
• Scrapes or dents on their car
• Driving above or under the speed limit⁵
• Increased car insurance costs due to a bad driving record
• Getting lost in areas they should be familiar with
• Being pulled over and warned about their driving behavior
• Multiple moving violations, close calls, or crashes in the past few years
• Being advised by a doctor or healthcare worker to stop driving
• Running red lights and stop signs
• Two or more warnings or tickets in the past two years
• Receiving comments from friends and neighbors about unsafe driving and road rage
• Anxiety about nighttime driving⁶

Many medical conditions make driving safely difficult, if not impossible.

Arthritis

Stiff muscles and joints can make it harder for drivers to hit the brakes and gas pedals, turn the steering wheel, and turn their heads to check blind spots.

Cardiovascular Disease

Someone at risk of a heart attack could die suddenly at the wheel, injuring or killing others if they lose control of the vehicle.

Dementia

With later-stage dementia, older adults may have trouble making decisions while driving, as their memory is significantly affected.

Hearing Impairment

An older adult with hearing issues may be unable to hear horns or sirens coming from outside the car or noises from mechanical issues inside the vehicle.

Parkinson’s Disease

Uncontrollable movements and loss of balance and coordination make driving unsafe for those with Parkinson’s disease.

Vision Impairment

Someone with glaucoma, macular degeneration, or cataracts may find it hard to see things outside of their direct sight lines. They’ll take longer to read traffic and street signs, and they’ll have trouble recognizing familiar places. Nighttime driving will become more challenging, but even during the day, headlights and street lights will create glare, and the sun may blind them.

Sleep Apnea

Someone with sleep apnea may be very sleepy during the day, resulting in drowsy driving that increases the risk of motor vehicle crashes.⁷

Stroke

Strokes cause people to lose control of their limbs and movements, affecting their control of the car.

Medications

Some medications cause drowsiness. All drivers should ask their doctor or pharmacist if they can drive safely before taking a drug.

Seniors, including aging parents, typically like to keep driving to maintain their independence, get around conveniently, and not have to pay for public transportation or rideshares. If it’s deemed safe for them to still be behind the wheel, check out our driving guide for older adults before you hand over the car keys.

Using the NHTSA’s Fatality Analysis Reporting System (FARS) database, where the most recent data is from 2020, we looked into how well older adults over the age of 65 drive compared to the rest of the population.

Asking a senior to stop driving isn’t easy. You want to keep them safe, but also help them maintain their independence. The guidance provided above can be useful. To learn more, check out our frequently asked questions below.